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Celebrate Valentine’s Day and Create “Moments of Joy”
For many Boomers, saying “I Love You” to an aging parent can be very difficult. Valentine’s Day is a perfect catalyst for Boomers to express sentiments of love to their aging parents. These sentiments are so often not expressed enough or left unexpressed.
Whether from son or daughter to mother or father, Valentine’s Day provides an opportunity to say “I Love You” in a variety of ways. It may take some forgiveness, but creating “Moments of Joy” can eliminate years of regret.
Use Valentine’s Day to say the words that are hard to say. The heartfelt sentiment of those three little words that mean so very much to lovers will be even more special to a parent. Change the focus of eldercare responsibilities on Valentine’s Day from all that needs to be done for your parents to all the ways to express love for your parents.
This is also a time where expressions of love are readily available. Nowadays, you can find them everywhere. Those chocolates and flowers that might be an uncreative Valentine’s Day gift for a wife or girlfriend can be very special when coming from an adult son or daughter, and what mother wouldn’t enjoy a spa product or treatment.
Focus on the expression of personal sentiments and make the results memorable.
- Spend the time to select a Valentine’s Day card with a message that truly reflects you and your feelings towards your parent.
- Buy a blank card and personally write your message of love.
- Find an inspirational quote or poem.
- Make sure you have a second copy of whatever message you send so you can read the message out loud to them not only on Valentine’s Day but in the future.
- If there are grandchildren, have each of the grandchildren (regardless of age) send a thoughtfully selected Valentine’s Day card too.
- Think about why you are grateful they are your parent and how they blessed your life – then tell them.
- When you say “I Love You” say it slowly, look directly into their eyes and hold their hand, give them a kiss or give them a heartfelt hug.
The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. As scarce a commodity time is for you, it is even more scarce for your parents. So make time for a special one-on-one. That may be going out for a drive or a walk, or having a meal together - maybe a brunch, an afternoon tea or even cooking for them. If you are a long-distance caregiver make sure your parent knows you will have that special Valentine’s Day celebration on your next visit.
May your life be filled with no regrets; may you see the extraordinary in the ordinary; and may someone be there to brighten your world as you age.
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